So I got the all-coveted ring. Yes, he indeed put a ring on it. And yes, he proposed to me….he proposed with a diamond ring.
To be engaged is a wonderful feeling. It took me a couple days to actually realize that it happened. Even now, I look down on my ring and smile, still getting used to its presence on my little fingers. When he proposed, it was a blur. What they say is true. I blanked out and had an out of body experience lol. Before I knew it, I was crying and people were cheering, but it hadn’t quite sunk in what had just happened. He asked me to be his wife. An engagement is quite the commitment. As he later put it, he was asking to love, protect and provide for me…for a lifetime. Wow. I said yes. Another way to look at it is the search is over. I don’t have to worry about “finding” the one. I found him, and love him deeply. What is important to note however, is just because I found him doesn’t mean I can stop acting like I’m tryna get chose. In fact, I’m feeling quite the contrary. The engagement has made me want to step up even more to love him and cater to him as much as I can. My “wifely” instincts have kicked in. It probably also helps that we just moved in together. So cooking and cleaning and looking halfway decent most of the time are new priorities. We’ve received a lot of love and support during our engagement thus far. I think people are hungry to see young black couples “make it.” We’ve also experienced a couple haters who have either questioned our age or, my favorite, ask why it took so long for us to get engaged in the first place –_–
For us, engagement wasn’t something we did just because we had been dating for a while. It wasn’t simply “the next step” in our relationship journey. An engagement is the first official step to agreeing to a lifetime commitment. It says I will leave my childish ways behind and step up to be the companion you need me to be. Most importantly, it is agreeing to embark on a journey that prepares us to make a covenant before The Lord. A pledge that to honor, cherish and remain faithful to each other until death do us part. It is also a promise that to keep God first in our lives and in our marriage.
What’s interesting to me is that in the excitement and hustle and bustle of an engagement, everyone immediately wants to know when the wedding is. Soon to follow are questions about colors, bridesmaids, venue, etc. Not a single person asked about our couples counseling classes or what we plan on doing in “preparation” for a lifelong partnership. As Kanye would say, [they’re] “worried bout the wrong things, the wrong things….” Perhaps one of the reasons why so many couples get divorced is because they are not clear on the voluntary commitment that marriage requires. Saying “yes!” goes far beyond saying yes to a dress. We should shift our focus, and perhaps also our time, energy, and money, toward post-engagement preparation for marriage. Books, words of wisdom, recommended relationship counselors would all be awesome congratulatory gifts. Shower me with prayers and words of encouragement as I prepare to be a wife, and shower my fiance with prayers and words of encouragement as he prepares to be a husband.
Food for thought…. Exciting times. Lots of planning to do. Often overwhelming….but God is a provider. He will make a way if it is His will. Gotta keep that in mind.