A piece by guest writer Leslie Ross
So it happened! You got engaged, you planned the wedding, you had a great honeymoon and now you’re married. What now? Live happily ever after? But, how? How are two people, raised in vastly different families, with different likes and dislikes, and separate ideas of what “Happily Ever After” means…How are they supposed to be happy…forever?
Talking to your partner is the most important thing you can do in a relationship. Usually, if there is a misunderstanding or a problem, communication is the key to solving the issue. Additionally, if something is bothering you, there’s no better way to address the issue than to talk about it.
Many engaged couples think, “I know everything there is to know about my future spouse.” I can guarantee you that you are wrong! And even if you THINK you know everything there is to know now, people change, adapt and grow. Your success in marriage will depend heavily on your ability to listen to and communicate with your spouse. So get to talking!
Here are some places to start:
How often will you have sex? How will you let your spouse know that you are unhappy with some aspect of your sex life?
Before marriage, you think that your sex life will not be a problem. However, many couples have problems talking to their mates about sex. Learn to talk about this subject now, before it becomes a problem.
How will you pay for expenses? Will you have separate accounts? Joint accounts? Both? What goals will you both be working toward with regard to money? How often will you discuss your money goals and how will you help each other remain accountable?
Many people are hesitant to let anyone, including their spouse “into their pocket, or pocketbooks.” However, it is important that you each work together to discuss how each of you views money and how you will work together as a couple to handle finances.
There are many other topics: Spending time with family, planning vacations, career goals...the list goes on. Know that communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. Don’t take it for granted that you know all there is to know. Continue to be curious and stay connected with your spouse- forever.
Until next time...