I've known Maggie since middle school, and it's really neat to see how she's matured into the woman she is today. Below Maggie gives an insider's look into what it's like to be married, the lessons she and her husband have learned, and what SHE has personally had to work on to be the best wife she can be. Today, we feature a woman's perspective in the Wisdom Corner! Enjoy:
What sacrifices have you made for each other?
As cliché as this may sound, the major sacrifice that my husband and I have made for one another is change. Ultimately, you can’t change anyone unless they want to change.
Heading into our marriage, my husband and I were two different people and we operated as such. In the beginning of our marriage, becoming more cohesive and more of a unit had to be one of the most difficult challenges.
Over time, we began to operate like a well-oiled machine, especially after having kids. He is truly the yin to my yang.
Another thing was we had to change was how we dealt with one another. This was a huge obstacle for me because of my Type A personality. I had to learn to let things go sometimes and he had to learn that some things needed to be taken more seriously than others. This change was a huge advancement in our relationship which resulted in less strain on the both of us. Overall, you may not be able to change a person, but YOU have to be willing to change.
How do you make it work?
One of the biggest methods of making any relationship work is communication and I don’t just mean talking. One of my biggest pitfalls was and still is how I communicate to people. I am rather crafty with words, especially when I’m upset.
So, one of the things I had to do was thinking before I acted. Think about what I said, how I said it and how it would make him feel.
Once I realized what I was doing and made the change, my husband was more receptive to the things I said. In addition, he was able to see and understand what I was saying and began making adjustments on his own.
Another way we make it work is understanding that any relationship is structured on give and take. If one does more than the other, it will cause a strain on the relationship. There must be a balance between spouses in order to maintain sustainability.
Why do you think marriage has such a negative connotation today? Why do you think there is an obsession with failed relationships?
Times have drastically changed from the era of “stay in your marriage.” Couples used to stay together for many years, despite adversities, because it’s just what they did. In this day and age, the transgressions of a marriage are either aired out on social media or in conversations amongst friends and families. From there, the people in the marriage are often fed with poisons such as, “you don’t deserve that,” “you need to leave him/her,” “there are plenty of fish in the sea,” or some other negative comment that influences the person to take “the out” instead of staying the course. Marriage is very hard and there have been plenty of times we wanted to throw in the towel, however, running away from our marriage is the easy way out. Putting up a fight shows that we have something worth fighting for, and that our nuptials weren’t made in vain.
Until next time...