Guys. I LOVE this couple. My fiance just said to me, "damn, you like them more than you like us." It's something about Justin and Kiara that makes me happy. They are beautiful, smart and most importantly, happily married. If you follow them on social media, you'll see that they are always doing something fun (like enjoying wine around a fire pit, or hosting neighborhood block parties). The two lovebirds went to school in Atlanta and now reside in Charlotte.
Here's what they shared in The Wisdom Corner:
● What first attracted you to your mate?
(JUSTIN) She was refreshingly different from anyone I’d ever met, much less dated. We have dissimilar backgrounds, so she’s shown me things over the years that I probably would have never experienced without loving her.
● What sustains your attraction to your mate?
The fact that she saves things for me that she slowly reveals over time really sustains my attraction. For instance, she didn’t cook for me regularly until we were married. And when I can’t see what’s best for me, she gently regulates the situation.
● Why do you think marriage has such a negative connotation today?
(JUSTIN) I think marriage has a negative connotation today because gender equality came at a cost— when women began working outside of the home it revealed the ugliest parts of patriarchy. From then on, relying on a man for anything or generally being interdependent on anyone else became looked down upon.
● Why do you think there is an obsession with failed relationships?
(KIARA) I think there is a preoccupation with failed relationships because we created a culture where trying and failing has been framed as more horrifying than never trying at all. So everyone points out the few horror stories they’ve heard as their reason for not “buying in to marriage.” Marriage has also been framed as “outdated.” Some people would rather just have random hookups and avoid failure than take the chance on experiencing how awesome it is to be married.
● How do you make it work?
(BOTH) We have different hobbies, which we support each other in, but are careful not to step on each others’ toes—our different interests are what make us continue to be interesting to one another (and have something to talk about every night at dinner).
● If you had a daughter and wanted to instill wisdom in her about love and commitment, what would you tell her?
(KIARA) I would tell her to remember that her husband is not her daddy, and that even her daddy took some training *smile.* I would also tell her to stick it out even when she doesn’t “love” him because love isn’t a feeling—it’s a word we created to describe the deep contentment that comes from choosing someone so often that it doesn’t have to be a choice anymore. And, for goodness sake girl, hold your tongue!
● What would you tell your son?
The Bible says in Proverbs 18:22 that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. This means that it’s your job to find a graceful, God-fearing woman, not her job to find you. And a sure sign of a man’s strength is how gently he loves his wife, so treat her emotions, her body, and her interests as gently as you would treat your daughter’s.