What first attracted you to your mate? What sustains your attraction to your mate?
[Dani]: What first attracted me to Andrew was his long hair lol. Yes, we were in high school and he happened to be sitting at the desk right beside me in English. We ‘dated’ for a while but eventually called it quits. Nine years later, we ran into each other again and there was an instant spark! We had a lot of catching up to do and when I realized that he not only remained handsome but was in school to receive an architecture degree. That ambition in his eyes totally ignited me! Andrew was so caring and supportive of my personal educational goals as well that I knew that this may be a once-in-a-lifetime fairytale. My attraction has been sustained throughout the almost 4 years due to his constant commitment to his family. Yes, we have had some rough patches but he always remembered that I was the wife he sought God for, and he does everything in his power to keep me happy.
[Andrew]: Initially her eyes attracted me to her. They are beautiful and so full of God’s love. But what sustains my attraction to her is her response to real situations. Married life brings a life full of challenges that you do not face alone. Sometimes there are heartaches and most times there are joyous situations, but
...through it all, Dani has had the most consistent response ever. She brings everything to God.
She constantly meditates in His presence and on His word to make sure her actions line up with the word of God. Not being fully committed to Christ in the beginning of our relationship, it was a huge struggle for me to understand this stance in her life, but as I began to cultivate a relationship with God I started to understand that a close relationship with Christ would be the lifeline of our Marriage.
What is one part of your relationship that people do not see on the outside looking in?
[Dani]: The one part that people do not see is the sacrifices we have made for one another. Before we were married, we chose to blend our families (children from previous relationships). As excited as we were to do this, not everyone was as happy.
They didn’t see the times we cried together due to harsh words said/texts sent; they didn’t see the intentional disrespect of others for our marriage; they didn’t see the struggle of us building a ‘new’ family with our children.
However; with the help of God and our church family, we were able to learn and grow from these things. Nothing really ‘hurts’ us anymore. We focus on what is important: Faith, Spouse, Family!
[Andrew]: People do not see the sacrifice.
Being a married man is all about “going to the cross” in your relationship. A lot of people miss the mark when it comes to this because they believe sacrifice is all about compromise, when it’s not.
Sacrifice is what Christ has done for us Christians. Christ completely neglected himself (his feeling, desires, dreams, ambitions, will, thoughts, and motives) to complete God’s purpose for his life. We as husbands are supposed to be the Christ in our marriages.
I find myself often being challenged in this area of my marriage because sacrifice often gets no recognition. But, that is the beauty in it.
It shows the true intent of the heart. Husbands should practice this on a daily basis until it becomes second nature. After all this is one of God’s desires for marriage.
What is your favorite part about being married?
[Dani]: – My favorite part about being married is laughing and joking everyday with my best friend! Having that person to confide in and who will not past judgement is something that I always wanted. I often refer to him as a ‘peace breaker’ but that is always in good context.
We aren’t afraid to act silly in the malls, try adventurous things, or even play pranks on our children.
Laugher really does the heart good and I am forever grateful for him and his sense of humor.
[Andrew]: My favorite part of my marriage is the vacations. I love to just get away and spend alone time with my love. This allows us time to get back in tune with one another and strengthen our bond. We also get a chance to escape the day-to-day responsibilities of working and taking care of our children. Having four children, our attention is often divided. Every year we decide to do something different and go somewhere different during our anniversary week. Since neither one of us knows the environment that we are going in, we have to work as a team to navigate and experience these exotic places together. Can’t wait for our next adventure!
And we can’t wait to see where these two are going!
Until next time...