Donovan and Brittany are newly engaged. Here in The Wisdom Corner, they open up about the challenges of a long-distance relationship, who they turn to for marriage advice, and why they are choosing matrimony over long-term "dating." Enjoy!
What do you love most about being engaged?
[Donovan]: I love the progressive change in becoming ‘one’ with the most incredible person that I have ever known. My fiancé is above anything I could have ever dreamt for myself. She is exactly what I want and need; being engaged to her is very exciting. One day I will be able to call this young lady my wife. As a matter of fact, that day is February 4, 2017! Oh how I look forward to that day!!!
[Brittany]: I love being able to have fun and just take comfort in my fiance. These past months have been full of adventure and planning in preparation for our beautiful life together. We have also grown closer spiritually with each other and with our families. My fiance makes me smile from 280 miles away everyday, and when we spend time together on the weekends, it’s just amazing to know that he chose me to be his partner in life.
What has been the greatest challenge in your relationship and how are you working to overcome it?
[Donovan]: Possibly the long distance relationship that we are currently in. It causes days that are lonely, but the best way to overcome it is to simply plan to spend [more] time together.
[Brittany]: I definitely agree that our current distance is the toughest part. While we are away, we work very hard at our jobs and do our best to maximize the time we have away from each other so that we can be truly present with each other on the weekends. Our time together causes us to really appreciate each other, and it honestly furthers my excitement to get married.
When things get tough, who do you turn to for advice regarding your marriage?
[Donovan]: My parents. They have been a wonderful role model for me, having been married for over 35 years now. I hold them in high regard when it comes to dealing with any questions or concerns I have about marriage.
[Brittany]: I also love to talk to Donovan’s father. He not only has his own great and inspirational marriage, but he is also a great man of God. He is definitely someone who I look up to as an additional father and he has been there to support us throughout our relationship.
You are newly engaged, but what do you imagine your roles will be as husband and wife?
[Donovan]: I imagine my role will be threefold:
1. To be a leader of the home, submitting to GOD in order to lead my family in the right direction.
2. To love my wife unconditionally, as shown through my support and day to day actions. I will support her in everything she does and take ownership of all problems that she may face. We are in this together. Her problems are my problems and I will do whatever it takes to solve them, for [and with] her. My role will also be to protect her.
3. I will also serve my wife. Being the head of the household does not mean that I am supposed to boss her around, rather we are supposed to be a team.
The best way to become a team and reinforce my position [as her husband] is to serve her.
I can do this by listening and understanding her needs and trying to meet them in every way. Of course her needs will change throughout our life, but understanding and adjusting is key. What is she worried about? What troubles her? What is she struggling with? What pressure is she dealing with day to day. What does she want in life? Her wildest hopes and dreams are very important to her. In serving her, this will also mean providing for and spoiling her every chance I get for she is my heart and the most important person in my life.
[Brittany]: My role as a wife will be to support my husband and be his confidant and his friend. I think through our conversations in the beginning of our relationship, and as we grow further in our engagement, we are even more committed to holding true to these roles. My fiance has proven that he will be my protector, and I remain a nurturing ear. These roles also fit our personality very well, so they’ve been very natural to think about. My fiance also has the most amazing and beautiful daughter, and I’m thrilled for our relationship to continue to grow, as our roles change together. I learn so much from the both of them about what being a family is, and what love looks and feels like on a daily basis.
What are your thoughts on marriage overall? Why get married when you could choose to “date” forever?
[Donovan]: Marriage is a true commitment between two individuals. It is something ordained by GOD and designed for mankind. Only in marriage can we fully commit to each other and become one as a team. When you are dating forever you are sort of in-between, in-between committing and being single. Dating should be a precursor to being married.
[Brittany]: I think marriage is a wonderful thing when it’s done for the right reasons. Marriage provides the strong foundation for a strong family and overall community. I am so excited about marriage.
I am choosing to get married rather than dating forever because I want the blessing that comes with marriage...
...and I know that our marriage will not only be a blessing to each other, but also to those around us.
Ditto to using your union to bless your spheres of influence! Excited to see what's to come!
Until next time...