Although Justin and Tasha have dated for many years, marriage will be a new frontier for the couple. Recently engaged, Justin and Tasha open up about submission, provision, and their parents' influence on their relationship. We love how down to Earth and real they are. Enjoy today's Wisdom Corner!
What influenced your decision to get engaged? Why not just remain boyfriend and girlfriend?
[Tasha]: Well, for the last 6 months or so we constantly talked about moving in together. For me, I’m not much of a “shacker,” so I’ve always said I wanted to be engaged before signing a lease with my significant other. I felt like having the ring and the commitment would give me more security in knowing that my “roommate” would always be there. So the more places we saw the more I asked him. Do you seriously see yourself marrying me? We’ve known each other for 13 years and we aren’t getting any younger. Why not make that commitment especially if we know there isn’t anyone else out there for us. Last year I told him I wanted to be engaged by 2016…..I guess he listened lol
[Justin]: In this day and age, it is hard to find your “soulmate” and KEEP that person once you’ve found them because of all the distractions out there, the greatest being social media. For me, I was raised in a household with two parents that have been together since they were 16 and 15 years old, so I am fully aware that once you find something good, you need to do your best to keep it because there might not be anything better on the other side. Tasha and I were perfect for each other even before we realized it, but we’ve known now for the past couple of years. The final, solidifying step in our ready-made union is marriage. Marriage is security; I want to provide for her for the rest of my life because I know that my heart and well being is secure with her.
What do you love most about being engaged so far?
[Tasha]: Being engaged is great. I always knew that we would be married, but when the time comes to actually plan for your Union it’s a totally new feeling. It’s like I’ve fallen in love all over again. I’m honestly still in awe that he chose me to be life his life partner. I will say the “weirdest” or “strangest” feeling that I've experienced since being engaged is the baby question. “When are you guys going to have a baby”….geesh! We just got engaged lol I still feel like a little girl when asked that question. Like me? Us? Baby?….maybe in 3 years lol
[Justin]: I love the feeling of obligation. I love that I have taken on the role of not only representing Justin Butler and fighting for Justin Butler, but I am now obligated to a whole ‘nother being and need to conduct myself accordingly. It gives me a certain drive in my work field, entrepreneurial efforts, and my spirituality that I haven’t quite experienced yet and I am excited about the goals that I’ve set for us. I also love the fact that I could make her as happy as she was on the joyous day I proposed. Lastly, I do have to admit that it’s kind of cool to call her “My Fiancé” lol.
When things get tough, who do you turn to for advice regarding your relationship?
[Tasha]: Luckily, Justin & I both have parents who are still married. My parents have been married for 27 years and his have been married for 35 years, so they both have been wonderful examples of what a marriage can be. When things get rough for us, normally I try to talk things out with Justin as rationally as possible, but when I need an outside male’s perspective I normally go to my father. (Editor’s note: I recommend reading the “Leave and Cleave” article from last week).
[Justin]: There isn’t anyone in particular I go to for advice regarding our relationship. I usually keep those affairs private but if I need to vent, I usually end up talking to one of my best friends or my brother to give me an outside perspective. I do talk to my mother at times as well about larger issues we have. As Tasha stated, my parents have been together far beyond my years so I’ve had great role models all my life on healthy marriage and I have certainly taken note.
What do you imagine your roles will be as husband and wife?
[Tasha]: Hmmm good question. As a girlfriend, in our younger years, I had that whole strong girl mentality….not really “needing” him for anything, But the older I got, (and once we became engaged) a sense of submission was present. As a woman and his future wife I am learning how to let him lead. He has proven that he only wants the best for me and for us, so why not submit to my man. However, with that being said I still plan to go after my goals and take care of the house and our future children. We both have a vision of what we want our future to look like, and I plan to support his dream as well my own during our journey.
[Justin]: I believe the man should be the provider if there has to be a choice but if we both can contribute to our future together, then I certainly have no issue with that. We can share the workload at home, however it makes sense. I am not old-fashioned in the least bit and I am always learning and evolving as a human being. However, I do NOT support the idea of a man letting his woman support his well-being. Every able man should work and provide because the woman will still have to birth and nurture no matter if she’s working or not. That is her duty under God. So in that aspect, I can be old fashioned (and rightly so) but just know that Tasha will be WELL taken care of.
Until next time...