We are lucky and honored to feature Joshua and Candice in The Wisdom Corner. Joshua is a minister at a prestigious church and Candice is the founder of awesome motherhood blog, The Millennial Matriarch. This is a couple who is tried and true, having dated for over 10 years! Here on The YBL they share with us the lessons they've learned along the way, as well as common misconceptions about their relationship. Enjoy!
What is your favorite part about being married?
[Joshua]: Knowing that I have someone to share every part of my life with. I don’t have to do anything alone or have any hidden areas of my life. I always know that my spouse is there in good times and bad times. I am able to share every part of my life with her whether good or bad.
[Candice]: I’m not sure I have just one favorite thing about being married to Joshua :) There are so many parts of being married to him that are my favorite including the fact that I literally married my best friend. We’ve grown up together so not only do we know each other very well, we’ve gotten the chance to watch one another evolve and that has been a beautiful process. I also love that I have a partner in life. Literally a sidekick in everything; my most awesome moments and my lowest points as well. Someone that is with me until the very end loves me unconditionally through life’s journey. He has seen me at some of my most vulnerable, happiest, saddest, prettiest, ugliest times and still loves me- that’s how you know it’s real. I say it all the time but he is truly one of the key ways God shows me his love and I am so grateful.
What wisdom will you instill in your daughter about love and commitment?
[Joshua and Candice]: Our daughter is almost 2 years old now and this is something we think about often. We are very intentional about making sure she sees loving examples of marriage, especially in our interactions with one another. Even though there may be times that we disagree, we try to show her how to disagree in love. We want her to know that true love and lasting marriages take work. We don’t all get it right in year one.
A successful marriage takes love most of all, but it also takes communication, forgiveness, redemption, humility, and patience to be able to love someone in the way that God has called us separately and collectively as husband and wife.
We embrace the work and do it together.
What is one part of your relationship that people do not see on the outside looking in?
[Joshua and Candice]: One of the most striking misconceptions I’ve ever heard about us is that we never had to wait for our soulmates because we’ve been together since we were in high school. People assume that staying connected has been easy, not really seeing the sacrifices and prayers it took for us to get to where we are today. Being high school sweethearts is definitely something that we consider to be a blessing but our journey hasn’t always been smooth sailing. We endured 5 years of our relationship being long distance. We also went through sicknesses, health, ministry calls, and a host of other things together - way before marriage was a thought for us. The things that we’ve endured together have surely brought us closer and have undoubtedly helped to form the foundation upon which our relationship stands. However, many people don’t realize that while they pray for the Lord to send them their soulmate, we prayed similar prayers through each transition of our lives. We prayed that if we were "The Ones" for each other for the Lord to sustain our relationship through our transitions into adulthood. And then, we still had to pray for guidance both together and separately. Today, we have to make sure now more than even that God is at the center of our relationship.
This goes to show that no matter how long you have been with somebody, the work continues! Joshua and Candice give us hope that monogamous relationships are attainable and sustainable. They have also taught us that prayer is a major help along the way!
Until next time...